Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize