dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hippo gnu deer
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
