Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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