She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize