im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
