what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
