found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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