I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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