My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
