Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
