Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
