i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
