and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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