we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
