I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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