My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize