Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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