YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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