Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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