the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
