I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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