Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
