If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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