Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
