They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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