You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize