please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
