we're blogging at a bar
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
