I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
