I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
