It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
did you just send me my own nude
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
