i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
