Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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