i already hear my dad disowning me
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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