Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
