So drunk its hurt
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
