maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
