Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
