kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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