Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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