My balls are so social today.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
