please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
