Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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