A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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