she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize