Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize