Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
