highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
