My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
