Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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