So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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