Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
