piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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