god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize