Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i believe in u and ur pee
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