so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
