Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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