we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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