I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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