How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize