and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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