We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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