YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
