WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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