sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
