at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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